Deer Peer,

I’m graduating in the spring, but I’m scared. I’ve always been good at planning exactly where I want my life to go, and things usually go my way. The problem is that right now, moments after I’ve paid my graduation fee, I’m not sure if what I’ve planned is the best thing to me. It scares me that if I have success than I might not have the time to find anyone to share it with-but if I base my future around a romantic relationship, I might not have success. Being a woman, it’s often either/or. I’ve always wanted to have a family-I have a weird split personality between housewife and working woman. How do I have both?

Signed,

You Can Get With This or You Can Get With That

Dear This or That,

Okay, take a deep breath. Woo-sah. You have time (not much), to get your thoughts in order. You’re a modern woman- you can be both. I think that your planning may be compromising your sanity a little bit. It’s always great to know what you what and to have a plan to get you there, but you have to remember that life doesn’t always go your way. There’s no way to speak your future to the universe and just wait for it to happen. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong- Murphy’s Law. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”- Woody Allen. Moral of the story is: Life will through you curveballs, dodge balls and freezing rain. The best you can do is go with the flow. I’m not telling you to ditch your dreams and aspirations, but you have to be aware that life rarely happens the way that you want it. All you can do is work hard and hope for best- and comfort yourself with the thought that whatever is for you, is for you. I don’t think that love or career is more important than the other. They’re both equally important parts to leading a full life- if that’s your dream. I think you have to walk your path and figuring out what you like and dislike because trial and error is the biggest part of growing up and moving forward.

Good luck,

Your Peer

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