Just imagine this; you’re in your sophomore year of college now, classes are going well, and you hang out with your friends and family on the weekends. Life is good.
Now imagine yourself with your college sweetheart. All is going well in your relationship. You go out on movie dates, go bowling or skating, and cuddle up with each other at home after a long day.
Then one day, something you least expected happens.
You and your sweetheart breakup. You’ve had one too many arguments and now your partner doesn’t believe things will work out between the two of you.
What happened? Everything was going so well, now you’re upset about the breakup. You’re so upset that you start to lose focus in your classes, your grades start to drop, you put little effort into your assignments, and you just feel debilitated. College becomes more challenging when you aren’t mentally present.
It’s true that not everyone will have the same experience in this scenario, but most would agree that a breakup can be mentally draining.
Johnna Hill, a sophomore accounting major, experienced a big breakup at the end of her freshman year. It put her in a state of “mourning” as she grieved the end of what she thought was a beautiful relationship.
“The breakup definitely affected my mental health the most,” Hill said. “I was in a state of shock, I was angry, I was sad. I felt a sense of emptiness.”
She had envisioned herself being with the person she loved so strongly forever. She said that she lost a “lover” and “best friend” who was like a support system to her. It was difficult to see a new reality without that person, and she felt overwhelmed.
But undergraduates are not the only students who are rocked by the heartbreak of the end of their first serious relationships. Prior to the college’s closure in 2016, Lashawn Marion, a 2013 graduate of MedTech College, said that she experienced her first breakup during the first week of college.
Marion said that her breakup was “distracting.” She had a 1-year-old son at the time and was falling behind in her classes because of the separation.
“I would try to be a college student and be a mom, be responsible,” she said. “I ended up putting school first because I had to, I had my son. But it definitely was very hard, I had some very sad moments. I was feeling like a failure.”
Marion says the breakup did affect her mentally and emotionally, but she was ultimately better because of it.
“Mentally it made me a stronger person,” she said. “But emotionally, it felt like probably one of the loneliest times of my life.”
She admits that her situation was more abusive than anything, and she never wants to be in a relationship similar to that ever again.
Michael Cortez James, a success and retention coordinator at Morgan State University, tries to help students by advising them to go to the counseling center in moments of hopelessness.
“The counseling center is where I always tell the students to go,” he said. “First of all, you have to know that you need [help]. And how does a person know? Because they know themselves. I try to teach students to be real with themselves.”
According to an article written by Lacey J. Ritter on mental health and romantic relationships in college, “breaking up or losing a romantic partner increases one’s levels of psychological distress.”
As Hill stated earlier, her mental state was not the best after her breakup. Feelings of emptiness, shock, anger and sadness are all things one may feel after a serious breakup. Ending relationships can hurt and be mentally taxing. It’s important to have someone who you can talk to when you are feeling drained.
Dr. Sonya Clyburn, director of Morgan’s counseling center, sees students visiting the center daily. “Trauma can be stressful,” said Clyburn. “We are really making sure that our students have the education, the coping strategies and the support. We want them to make sure they are psychologically safe.”
The campus counseling center is located in Holmes Hall, suite 326. Their office hours are Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Their satellite office in Thurgood Marshall operates on a fluctuating schedule.
